The Five languages of Love
For the Married Couple

This is a summary of the discussion
at the Coptic Family meeting
March 8, 2003
 

The Five Languages of Love are:

1. Sensitive Words
    

2. Sufficient Time
    

3. Gifts Presentation
    

4. Offering Services
    

5. Delicate Touches

Let's explore them a little further!

1. Sensitive Words:
    

   1. Words of forgiveness:

      • Don’t keep track with past mistakes

      • We may not be able to wipe the past but we can admit it and ask forgiveness
         

   2. Love Words: Don’t use non-love words

      • I cant believe you did that

      • I don’t think I can ever forgive you

      • I don’t think you realize how much I was hurt
         

   3. Humble Words:

      • Please, If you can

      • Ordering is perceived as non-love words
         

   4. Words of Communication:

      • Saying good characters about the spouse in the presence of others

      • Method: write good features of the other

      • Postpone the complaints

      • Praise her/him twice /week

       

2. Sufficient Time:
    

   • Complete attention: No TV, news paper
      

   • Job will not considered as a threat anymore
      

   • When she says her complaints, she needs ears and arms more than advises and blames
      

   • Learn to Listen; Eyes in Eyes, Don’t do other things, Listen to feelings and express your understanding, note body movements
      

   • Learn to Speak:

     • Husbands never talk

     • Plan to talk about 3 things occurred that day

     • Activities: Gardening, shopping, Walking

     • 3 main determinants:

       • One wants to do

       • Other does not mind

       • Both know the goal is to spend more time

      

3. Gifts Presentation:
    

   • Different occasions

   • Different prices

   • One meaning

   • Get to be an expert in selection

   • Gift of self: The presence when needed

      

4. Offering Services:
    

   • Perform services that the spouse desire

   • Wife remembers engagement as the best period of services offering

   • Husband may assume she does not love him because she stopped doing the services ( He always orders her!)

   • Each should write 3 things, he/she will be happy if the other offer to do them

    

5. Delicate Touches:
    

   • The type of touches that make you happy, are not necessarily what make your spouse comfortable

   • Non-sexual touches can be your spouse’s main language of love

   • Perception of touches are not limited to the senses

    

How would you discover your language of love?

1. What does your spouse do or fails to do hurt you?

2. What is the most frequent thing you asked of your spouse?

3. Who is your ideal ( imaginary) suitable spouse?

4. What did you like the most in your spouse when engaged?

5. Put in order yours and your spouse languages

Sensitive Words

Gifts Presentation

Offering Services

Delicate Touches